you wore down my resistance (i fell)
by softiesharpie
Summary: What if Lena hadn’t cut off Kara’s hologram in 5x08.


"I am good, and I always was."

Kara watched Lena lose some of her well kept composure and she just wanted to scream I know! She'd always known that Lena was good, even when the rest of the city was against her. She always believed Lena was good.

She stayed silent, letting Lena say all she needed to. I deserve this. I hurt her. I lied to her. This is on me.

"I learned what kind of deceitful person you really are and that's what inspired me to do this."

Kara's breathing hitched, tears filling her eyes but she willed them not to fall. I deserve it. She deserves to finally let this out.

"L-Lena..." Kara tried to say something but she was cut off.

"Your words mean nothing to me anymore." A shaky exhale. "Spare us both the drama and leave me alone."

Kara could see that Lena was about to cut off the hologram.

"Lena wait!" She cried, feeling completely and utterly powerless in that moment.

Lena didn't look up, continuing to type into her tech to shut off the hologram.

"I love you!" Kara blurted out, her words tearful and rough but still so inexplicably soft.

Lena froze.

"I love you so much, Lena." Kara said again, not being able to stop herself from crying now. "I always have... and I always will! I understand why you hate me. I hurt you... lied to you for years. You have every right to feel this way."

Kara trembled, hoping Lena would say something, say anything before she blurted out the unspoken feelings she'd had towards Lena for years.

"Then.. then why are you trying to stop me?" Lena asked, her voice sounding small and unsure, a contrast to the way she was when Kara first got there.

Kara could almost see Lena unravel before her, see the uncaring, bordering on cold facade she'd kept for up awhile finally start to slip.

"Because — because Myriad... people aren't going to believe you're trying to do good if you use Myriad. They know what happened last time it was used... they won't trust you." Kara sniffed. "I know you're good... and I know you only have good intentions but... they won't know that. And... you've worked too hard to have the city turn on you now."

Lena considered this for a moment, her finger hovering over the button to block Kara's hologram and continue launching Myriad.

"Please, Lee." Kara begged, tears falling down her cheeks. "Please don't do this."

Lena faltered at the use of her nickname. Kara was the only person she'd allowed to call her that.

She looked up at Hope, who just watched them in silence.

"Shut it down." Lena said.

Hope's brows furrowed in confusion. "But, Miss Luthor, everything we've been working towards will be for naught."

"So be it." Lena said. "Shut it down." She repeated. Hope did exactly as she was asked, shutting down Myriad.

For a moment, Lena forgot Kara was still there watching. She leaned against the control panel and closed her eyes, the tension and hurt she'd been carrying for months finally showing itself as she started crying.

"What have I done?" She whispered in between tears.

Hope stood there, not knowing how to comfort her.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Kara spoke up. "You're hurt and angry and I get that. I'll give you all the time you need."

As much as she wanted to be there with Lena and comfort her; she respected her space. She knew this wouldn't be fixed in a day.

"I need time." Lena said after a few minutes of trying, and failing, to stop crying.

"I get it." Kara sniffed.

"You really hurt me, Kara." Lena said, finally looking up at the blonde.

When she saw the state she was in, saw her red eyes and the dried tear streaks on her cheeks, her resolve nearly fell completely.

"I-I know." Kara sniffed. "And I'll do anything to make up for it. I... I miss you, Lee."

I miss you too, Lena had to stop herself from saying.

"Just... call if you need me. Or if you want to talk or... or get lunch at that place you really like. I might even drink a kale smoothie for you." Kara attempted to joke, letting out a tearful chuckle.

Lena's lips twitched, the closest thing Kara would get to a smile right now.

"I will... call you, I mean." Lena said.

"Okay, great. Awesome." Kara said, biting her lip nervously. "I'm gonna go now. Alex wants to talk to me about something."

Lena nodded. "Okay." She said.

"Bye." Kara said, trying to smile.

"Bye." Lena repeated before Kara's hologram disappeared.

Lena sighed and sat down in her chair, hiding her face in her hands. "Kara Zor-El, what are you doing to me?" She muttered.


End file.
